Souvenir Shop

Shop Employee: Hi. How can I help you?

Customer: Uh, I’d like to get a souvenir for my wife. Something special from this area.

Shop Employee: Okay. Well, how about this nice pearl necklace? It’s locally sourced from the nearby sea.

Customer: Uh, yeah…Let me see that. .Oh, no. NO! That’s way too expensive. I’m not going to spend $120 for something like that.

Shop Employee: Okay. How about this nice watch?

Customer: Oh, OH! That’s way too expensive, plus she already has a watch and a phone, so she can check the time of day whenever she likes.

Shop Employee: Ok, um. What about this nice shirt? It’s made with traditional designs, local tailor. Only $30.

Customer: Well, Oh! Oh no!

Shop Employee: [Woman sighs.] Let me guess. It’s the price. Is it too expensive?

Customer: Well, it’s . . . .well, kind of.

Shop Employee: Didn’t you say this was for your wife? Shouldn’t you be getting her something nice? I mean, come on.

Customer: Hey. If you’re suggesting that I’m cheap or something, I’ll just, well, I’ll just go to another souvenir shop. They’ll probably treat a lot better than you are.

Shop Employee: Yeah, good luck. They [What?], they all closed while you were carrying on. I mean, we closed 15  minutes ago. [Oh!]. You can pick up something at the airport if you want, but they’ll charge you an arm and a leg.

Customer: Uh, um. Whoa. Whoa. Wait, wait. How much is this candy bar? She really likes chocolate.

Shop Employee: Are you serious? This is a Snickers bar. It’s not even one of their special novelty flavors. You can get this literally anywhere. How about this box of nice chocolates? They’re Belgium. I mean that’s not local, but they’re nice.

Customer: No. No, no, no, no, no. Whoa. No, no, no, no.

Shop Employee: Look. Take it. [What?] I’m done. Least I can do is save your marriage.