Wedding Anniversary

Husband: Happy Anniversary!

Wife: Oh, thank you. They’re beautiful. You shouldn’t have . . . especially since our anniversary was last week.

Husband: What? Oh, I completely forgot . . .

Wife: Again?

Husband: No Way. I can’t believe it.

Wife: Neither can I, but you did.

Husband: Ah, how can I make it up to you . . . again? Anything!

Wife: Okay, let’s negotiate. [Negotiate?] First of all, I want to go on that dream vacation you’ve always promised me.

Husband: You mean, to Chicago?

Wife: No! To Europe. I want to fly first class and stay at 5-star hotels. And no more places with broken heaters, leaky showers, and dirty bedding.

Husband: Ah, were those places that bad?

Wife: Well, SOMETHING a little nicer, at least once in a blue moon, would be nice. [Well . . . ] And, oh yeah. Next, I want to get a new kitchen stove. The old one took its last breath weeks ago.

Husband: But we . . .

Wife: No, we’re NOT going to use the outdoor barbecue anymore. It isn’t any fun at all cooking outside in the winter, with icicles hanging from your nose.

Husband: That bad?

Wife: Not for YOU since you’re always watching from inside.

Husband: Oh, well.

Wife: And finally, I want a new wardrobe: some new dresses, shirts, pants, earrings . . .

Husband: But . . .

Wife: And, NO, I’m not going to wear your grandmother’s old secondhand pants again.

Husband: Is that it?

Wife: Uh, hmm, for now. So, why don’t we grab a bite to eat before we start planning the entire adventure.

Husband: But lunch wasn’t on the list.

Wife: Let’s see. Paris, Rome, London, then a short detour to Russia, China, [What?!] and, ooh, and Hawaii on the way home.

Husband: Wow. I’d better ask the boss for a huge raise.