Dear Joan,

I enjoyed receiving your postcards with the glowing descriptions of your recent trip to Europe. Of course, when I told Benny about your trip, he wanted to revisit Paris immediately, especially after an unusual dining experience we had here last week. Being the food critic for the Winnipeg Daily News for ten years now, Benny thought that he’d seen and tasted everything. Well, that was until last Friday night.

We went to a new restaurant called Le French, on the corner of Davis Street and Park Avenue. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that this restaurant specializes in Italian cuisine. When Benny asked the waiter why the owners decided to name an Italian restaurant Le French, he simply said, “Don’t ask me!” Then a little while later, this same waiter knocked over Benny’s wine glass, spilling red wine onto Benny’s pants. The waiter merely said, “Oops, sorry!” and left us to fend for ourselves. After finding some extra napkins and cleaning up the wine, Benny fleetingly thought of leaving, but, being a consummate professional reviewer and hoping that the food might surpass the service, we stayed. Was that ever a mistake!

I ordered spaghetti with tomato sauce—that’s about as simple a meal as you can get—and Benny decided to try the restaurant specialty, lasagna. Well, my spaghetti was not fully cooked, and the tomato sauce tasted like the canned sauces you would find on a supermarket shelf. Benny’s lasagna was inedible—full of dry cheese and very little sauce. Fortunately, the fresh bread eased our hunger somewhat, although the butter was cold and much too hard to spread, which didn’t improve our mood.

As we were about to leave, the restaurant owner apologized for ruining Benny’s pants and said that Benny didn’t have to pay for his meal. However, he did not offer to compensate Benny for his ruined trousers. Benny wants to give Le French a special award for the worst culinary experience he’s ever had, but I’m trying to calm him down a bit before he writes a highly critical review.

Give us a call before you come to town next month and we’ll arrange to go somewhere special to celebrate your birthday—but rest assured that it won’t be Le French.

Cheers,

Tracy